In this episode, TED speaker and persuasion expert Josh Bandoch joins Bryan Buckley to unpack why most of what we think we know about persuasion is wrong. Drawing on his TED Talk and new book, How to Get What You Want, Josh explains that true persuasion isn’t about winning arguments or getting others to think like you — it’s “shared action” built on putting the other person first, listening more than you speak, and understanding the emotional wiring behind every decision. Listeners will come away with practical, research-backed tools for building authentic connection and turning everyday conversations — in sales, customer experience, or leadership — into genuine win-wins.
Topics covered:
- Redefining persuasion: why it’s not about “winning” or convincing others to think like you
- The “me first” trap and how flipping to a “them first” mindset builds real connection
- Why we feel first and reason second — and what that means for how you communicate
- How to use feeling-based questions to uncover honest, unfiltered answers
- The “Persuasion Genius” mindset and the Five Wiring Principles behind it
- Applying persuasion in sales, customer experience, and leadership
- Turning tense or “hot” conversations into productive ones through listening
- Why vision, story, and positivity are more persuasive than logic alone
Timestamps
0:00 – Why Logic Alone Fails
0:42 – Show Setup And Guest Intro
3:23 – Persuasion As Shared Action
6:20 – Put Them First With Listening
12:13 – Feel First Then Reason
16:55 – Ask Priorities In Negotiations
24:56 – Customer Experience And Naming Hesitation
35:42 – Leadership With Vision And Stories
41:14 – Rapid Fire And Final Takeaways
Featured Guest
Josh Bandoch is a TED speaker, author, and persuasion expert whose career spans academia, fundraising, public policy advocacy, and speechwriting. His TED Talk, How to Be More Persuasive, explores the cognitive wiring behind effective persuasion, and his mission is to help people break through the “glass ceilings” that hold them back from turning good ideas into real influence.
Featured Book
How to Get What You Want: The Art and Science of Persuasion by Josh Bandoch — released April 2026, this book expands on the insights from his TED Talk, diving deeper into the neuroscience and psychology of persuasion and offering practical tools for building genuine, lasting influence.
Cheat Sheet
Grab the companion cheat sheet for this episode and get Josh Bandoch’s persuasion framework. Inside: the golden rule behind why “me-first” wiring kills persuasion, the Ask-Don’t-Tell technique for disarming any conversation, the Negativity Flip leaders use to make people want to follow them, and 3 action items you can put to work in your very next conversation.
Watch the Video
Prefer to watch? The full conversation with J.R. Briggs is also available on YouTube.
Podcast Resources
30 Connection Questions for Stronger Business Conversations
A curated set of questions designed to elevate the quality of your conversations and help establish stronger connections within the 1st 5 minutes.
The System Elite Connectors Use to Remember Names
A practical, step by step approach for improving name recall and strengthening your ability to build relationships in professional environments.
The Book
This book presents the complete framework for creating powerful first impressions and developing meaningful connections from the very beginning of a conversation. It expands on the strategies discussed in this episode and offers practical techniques that can be applied in networking, business, and everyday interactions.